Hi everyone! Alright so I thought I'd start a blog. Totally out of nowhere. It just seems like a decent way to get some of my thoughts on paper, so to speak, and possibly even out for others' consideration. You could say, and you'd be right, that I come from a traditional family. I grew up in a house where my parents always have been and always will be head over heals for each other. Their relationship is so solid. I mean sure, they have disagreements and they get on each other's nerves, but theirs is the kind of relationship tempered by time and experience. The depth of their commitment, love, and dedication transcends any stupid arguments and temporary annoyances.
I bring this up because I, being my totally lame bachelor self, got on google and looked up "why do girls want to get married?" The things that popped up were.. interesting. Troubling, to be honest. I read one article that said girls want to get married because they're brainwashed into it from day one. I looked at a couple other links, but the biggest shock for me was reading the comments. I'd bet about 90% of the posts were negative. A huge number of them were younger women or teenage girls talking about how they never want to get married or how they don't see the point. People talked about how marriage is an outdated social construct that only serves to bind people down and make separation more difficult.
I guess you could say I'm befuddled. It seems like people just don't quite get it. Marriage isn't about legality or tax cuts or social norms or strangling commitments. It's about family. My grandfather passed away recently. He was a PhD bearing metallurgical engineer, a university professor, an extremely accomplished carpenter, a traveler, and much much more. But in his final years and months, despite all of his accomplishments, all of his career successes, and all of his accumulated wealth, his greatest source of accomplishment and pride was his family. He was the father of six daughters and the grandfather to a score of grandkids. Sure, you could ask him about his work and he'd be happy to talk about it, but if you managed to get some of the family together and sit everyone down around the table for Thanksgiving dinner or even just some KFC, he would get a glow in his countenance and a smile on his face that would make your heart melt. He loved his family with all of his heart and soul. He would always say how proud he was of everyone and how much fun some trip was way back when or how impressed he was with so-and-so's accomplishments in this-and-that area. He spent his twilight years surrounding himself with the people he had cherished throughout his life.
I have three siblings: one brother and two sisters. As you may have guessed, we're a seriously close-knit family. I've had moments with each of them where I've wanted to slam their heads into the drywall. There are times we don't understand each other. There are times when we go the rounds, even now that we're all getting older. But of all the six billion people on the planet, my two sisters, my brother, and my parents are my absolute favorites. My older sister got married about five years ago and her husband has also been assimilated successfully into the collective. I love these people with everything I've got. I love spending time with them more than anything else in the world. I also know that, no matter what, if I ever need anything, they'll be there for me, and if they ever need anything, I'll be there for them. Together, we compose the man-made raft that keeps each individual member afloat in life. The older I get, the more I realize that my family's closeness is directly attributable to my parents' rock solid marriage. It's pulled us together in a way that only that level of dedication, love, and commitment can. The truly deep, abiding, comforting, uplifting, fulfilling joy and meaning that my family brings to my life is absolutely irreplaceable. I can only imagine what it must be like to be a husband and father.
Which brings me full circle. I can think of nothing that would bring me greater satisfaction and fulfillment than finding the girl I want to spend my life with and building a family like the one my parents raised me in. That is not to say I don't have career aspirations. I'm starting a PhD program this Fall. I want to have a successful career, see the world, have a nice house, make a difference, that sort of thing. But when I think ahead to what I'm going to look back on and be truly proud of in this life, I see myself in my grandfather's shoes. I can't imagine leaving this life without having experienced the ironclad love and dedication I see in my parents' relationship. I can't imagine departing without having built a family held together by love, understanding, trust, joy, and yes, that ironclad commitment of marriage. I can't imagine spending my december years with nothing to keep me company but a car, a house, and the framed certificates of a lifetime's worth of work in my chosen field.
